Jared Says, the almost 6 year old edition

His fascination with science and planets continues.

J: Mom, when was Jupiter reclassified?
Mom: reclassified?
J: when? When was it reclassified as a dwarf planet?
M: huh?

* * *

While praying

J: ...and Dear God, please do not let the sun burst, not in 13 million years because I don't want to get toasted.


* * *
J: grandma I'm going to the CR
Grandma: Okay, call me when you are done
J: It's okay, I can do it by my selfie!

p.s. Jared in year 2014, selfie  is a big word. It means taking photos of yourself, fyi.


 and because we have a boy who loves hotels
 
J: Grandma, I want our room to look like a hotel... white bedsheets, very clean.
Grandma: That's not possible
J: Why?
G: Look all your toys are kalat, stickers on the headboards etc etc
j: Oh, never mind. Let's just stay at the hotel when we have money.

* **

J: Mom, oh white bedsheets, white pillowcases. Did you get these from a hotel, mom?

Jared Says....

My son is the comic relief in our house. Since I am way behind on blogging, I am thankful my mama's updates on her news feed on FB are mostly my son's antics and words.

Here are random conversations between him and grandma.

This just in:
Grandma: Why does your head smell like that? What is your shampoo?
Jared: Brand X

* * *

J: grandma buy me a new bike po
Me: you already have a bike ah
J: i want an angry bird bike not the thomas bike
Me: i don't have money na
J: why, are you poor grandma?
Me: i don't have work now
J: di ba you work there
Me: ha, where?
J: there in the binggo-han


* **
Narinig ni j na kuma kanta ang kapitbahay na nag vivideoke
J: grandma, is there a mass in the neighbor's house?

* * *

J: grandma, daddy got angry because i did not follow him
Me: why, what happened?
J: because i told daddy, the boss in this house is mommy eh

* * *

J: grandma, i will collect medals
Me: so you have to study hard to have high grades
J: no, i will just buy it. Where can we buy medals?

* * *

J: ay ang sakit ng ulo ko facebook na lang ng facebook si grandma so tagal i cannot use the ipad

* * *

Nagbibilang ng by 5s
J: 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 Hahaha
Me: why are you laughing?l
J: grandma, i can have a bAby na when i'm 35 di ba

* * *

J: grandma, why do they call you lola? They are not your apo.
Me: because i'm old na. When you are old na, what do you want to be called, grandpa or lolo?
J: No, i want to be daddy first.

* * *

Let's study Science
Me: give me example of gas, liquid and solid
J: when i go to the comfort room, i utot that's gas. Then i pee that's liquid and i uo so that's solid
Me: 3 in 1. You give that example to your teacher?
J: no po, she might get angry eh

* * *


J: grandma i know 6 banks
Me: really! What are they?
J: (counting with his fingers)bdo, bpi, east west, metro bank, cebuana and central bank
Me:but cebuana is not a bank
J: it is. Look at the commercial o, the man gets money from cebuana
Me: central bank is not a regular bank
J: it is the boss of all banks

* * *

A t the doctor's clinic:
Doc: jared do you go to school already?
Jared: no po, its summer eh maybe by june
Doc: oo nga naman. What grade are you now?
Jared: kinder 2 but soon i will be in college and then i will work na

* * *

After putting on make up
Mommy: anak am i pretty?
Jared: (without looking and still playing with the ipad) you're pretty-ful mom


* * *

Jared: grandma how old are you?
Grandma: i'm 62
Jared: eh how old is your tummy, how old is your brain?


* * *

While watching the evening news

Jared: why did she die?
Grandma: because she's old na
Jared: grandma, you will die na because you're old na
Grandma: no, no not yet i'm still young
Jared: when nga, what month?

* * *

Jared praying : Jesus please save our house make it healthy and strong and i pray for the BARANGAY and SOCO to watch our house po. Amen

           

Jared says: Election 2013 version

On voting
Mom: Jared, will you vote on May 13?
Jared: No mom
M: Why?
J: Next time na, when I'm 18

On his candidates
Getting scratch paper and starting to write like his dad
Mom: What is the paper for?
Jared: I will write my senators.
M: Who will you vote for?
J: Ja Enril (Jack Ebrile)
Grace Poe
Aln Caytan (Allan Cayetano)
Mrs. Villar

Why 
M: Why will you vote for him (Jack Enrile)?
J: Because mom, there is something about the buko....

With a red pentel pen mark on his finger

On God
Jared calls me at the office
J: Mom, Tati and I are talking
M: About what?
J: About God and phlegm (ahhh, this got me confused!)


On his mom being vain
M: Jared,  do you think mom is pretty?
J: (without missing a beat) You are pretty-ful mom!


Holy Week
At church on Palm Sunday
J: Look Grandma, God is there (pointing to the door at the altar)
J: (whispering, as if talking to himself) Why are there many gods ba? (referring to the priests and altar boy positioned near that door)


His nightime prayer
J: Jesus, please protect our house and keep it healthy. Please send the SOCO and the barangay to watch our house.
 
On ambition
At the hospital
Nurse: Do you want to be a doctor, baby?
J: Ummm, I want to be an ambulance (driver)